R

E

C

L

I

N

E

R

[CLICK TO ENTER]

[RETURN TO COVER]

TV GUIDE

ISSUE 3, JUNE 2022

CONTRIBUTORS

YOUR WEATHER FORECAST

Notes on this Earth and beyond.

May include: microplastics in Chobani, waking up to an earthquake, White Christmas in South Texas, Bjork’s squid fetish, climate denial, climate anger, climate bargaining, climate depression, climate acceptance.

[9:00 AM]

Two Poems

Parisa Yekalamlari

[9:30 AM]

An excerpt from The Claire Bitch Project 

Claire Dougherty

SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS

Notes on make-believe.

May Include: Pickle Rick bodypillow, Pickle Rick vibrator, Pickle Rick poster, Pickle Rick DeviantArt, Pickle Rick Funko Pop!, Pickle Rick lunchbox, Pickle Rick boy shorts.

[10:00 AM]

Two Poems

Christine Kwon

[11:00 AM]

The Nuptials of ‘Scary’ Mary Murphy and the Bastard Dickie Sablich

J. Arthur Boyle

DAYTIME TELEVISION

Notes on the refuse of daily life.

May Include: not refilling the ice tray, leaving wet laundry in the washer, starting a compost, black feet detox, uneven application of tanning foam, getting in trouble in grad school for calling Marie Kondo “fascistic.”

[12:00 PM]

Five Poems

Will Stanier

[12:30 PM]

The Tailor

Farnoosh Fathi

SOAP OPERAS

Notes on the dramatic.

May include: the fall of Glossier, snitches getting stitches, blood, ten-year high school reunions, the fate of Jen Shaw, grocery shopping with your mom, Jack White fucking his sister, Marcia and Greg Brady’s sexual tension.

[1:00 PM]

My Mother's Vagina

Darcie Dennigan

PAID PROGRAMMING

Notes on the things we're sold.

May include: following your dreams, presidential hopeful Mike Lindell, Joe Rogan switching to Spotify, that plain woman with giant boobs in every AT&T commercial, gay pride, food handler certificates.

[2:00 PM]

Multi-Level Marketing

Robert Crawford

[2:30 PM]

POETRY 6

Anastasios Karnazes

FOOD NETWORK

Notes on the caloric.

May include: the amazing child chef of New York, beef fat candles, drugs, going to Weight Watchers with your mother, pre-ordering a turkey from Whole Foods, believing that gum sits in your stomach for 7 years.

[3:00 PM]

House Poor

Sofia Majstorovic

SPORTSCENTER

Notes on the body in motion.

May include: being bossed around by an Apple Watch, tricking your boyfriend into exercise, forgetting to cancel Class Pass, blasting bra fat, remembering to cancel Class Pass, pretending that volleyball shorts are utilitarian.

[4:00 PM]

Twitch

Ryan Petersen

[4:30 PM]

Ten Observations About Top Gun: Maverick 

Adam Nayman

5 O'CLOCK NEWS

Notes on the sensational.

May include: Elon buying twitter, Elon’s new gf, Elon’s mom’s beauty routine, celebrities holding hands without makeup on, deleting your menstrual app, presidential “elections,” plagues, ketamine therapy.

[5:00 PM]

Not My Fault!

Audrey Deng

TABLOID TALK SHOWS

Notes on intervention.

May include: being addicted to reciting jingles, when your sister is really your grandmother, when your brother is really your mom, when your boyfriend is really married to his cousin, rehab sounding really nice actually.

[7:00 PM]

Can Sorta See That Thin Person Inside; Or, The Ice Cream Place

Myles Zavelo

RERUNS

Notes on things of the past.

May include: Little Free Library abuse, decoding Davinci’s code, writing letters, free time, my student loans!!!!, internet cafes, dunce caps (bring them back), poetry.

[11:00 PM]

Am

Giles Goodland