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TV GUIDE

ISSUE 1, NOVEMBER 2019

CONTRIBUTORS

YOUR WEATHER FORECAST

Notes on this Earth and beyond.

May include: a walk in the woods, befriending a Scorpio, environmental concerns, elemental meditations, your worst sunburn.

[9:00 AM]

Fearless

Sofia Majstorovic

[9:20 AM]

Novacene

Timothy Donnelly

[9:40 AM]

Two Poems from Of Course 

Catherine Wagner

DAYTIME TELEVISION

Notes on the refuse of daily life.

May include: taking out the trash, going mouseless on Excel, refilling your Adderall, an overdue trip to the post office, getting fired, chipping your gel manicure.

[10:00 AM]

New Clippings from an Old Numerical Means

Basie Allen

[12:30 PM]

Three Jobs

Corissa St. Einer

PAID PROGRAMMING

Notes on the things we’re sold.

May include: subway ads, that one MILF on QVC, product reviews, the Postmodern premise, your dad’s George Foreman, manifestos, satires therein.

[3:00 PM]

Two Poems

Claire Dougherty

[3:30 PM]

Future Plans

Kate Greene

SPORTSCENTER

Notes on the body in motion.

May include: the big game, defending Barry Bonds, your least favorite spin class, playing HORSE, deciding if your yoga instructor is gay.

[4:00 PM]

Antibiotic Eyedrops at Birth

Tao Lin

[4:30 PM]

Return to Dust

Betty Wang

5 O'CLOCK NEWS

Notes on the sensational.

May include: the talk of the town, political musings, really not understanding what’s going on in Venezuela, getting cancelled, world records, meeting Bret Stephens and his lovely wife at their home.

[5:00 PM]

Robert and the Fox

Zachary Fine

[6:00 PM]

Three Poems from The Commission 

Greg Nissan

TIME FOR DINNER

Notes on consumption.

May include: eating your boyfriend’s fries, Yelp reviews, going to Weight Watchers with your mom, tipping baristas, recipes, expiration dates.

[7:00 PM]

Vulture Paper with Beet Juice Stain

Mitchell Glazier

[7:30 PM]

Grin to Grin

Inez Tan

LATE-NIGHT TALK SHOW

Notes on conversation.

May include: Regis Philbin dressed as Shrek, a scene from your unfinished screenplay, an interview with Sonja Morgan, Abigail’s outburst in The Crucible.

[8:00 PM]

Three Poems

Jamie Hood

[9:00 PM]

Vespid

Ryan Petersen

RERUNS

Notes on things of the past.

May include: calling a movie a “cult classic” because you’re the only one that likes it, defending Norman Mailer, Britney Spears’ best worst album, playing truth-or-dare.

[10:00 PM]

Oldies Night: Monster at 25 

Adam Nayman

VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED

Notes on the erotic.

May include: the last time you used a condom, blind dates, literotica, romantic advice, "Piss Christ," the PornHub comment section, pillowtalk, WebMD symptoms.

[11:00 PM]

How All Spit in the Place

Anastasios Karnazes

[11:30 PM]

Two Poems

Peter Patapis

NODDING OFF

Notes on the hypnagogic.

May include: deciding if you need to pee, counting sheep, drifting dreamscapes, myoclonic jerks, somnambulance, things you did on Ambien.

[12:00 AM]

Two Poems

Molly Bendall

[1:00 AM]

Sub

Nicholas h Politan