The moon isn’t only ice cold; the moon is also greedy. It wants our oceans for itself, along with the birds in the sky, happy couples on their anniversary, and high velocity jet skis. I don’t know anything about the moon or any of the other planets; you could say I’m a poser and you wouldn’t be wrong. So forget what I said about the moon. Forget what I said about the Pope: his armpits don’t really attract supermodels. The Pope used to drive to work in a blue Toyota compact; I know that for certain. The Pope doesn’t ice skate; he’s old and mostly older people don’t ice skate but he does read Latin, though that probably goes without saying. My middle school Latin teacher was skinny and pale. He was very earnest and he taught us the root meaning of the word ambulance. I rode in an ambulance once, after being stung by a wasp.