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Anastasios Karnazes
ASIF THIS IS IT 1

Let life lay on top of life, falling asleep texting you next to you please don’t do it without me, while I sleep

 

I am abandoning my own permission, like I think you know how I mean.

 

Can’t sleep without the light of my phone on your face,

 

rolling in a trance I had to start to watch Episode 9 all over again. Robes in

 

a cavern underground. I could write it all down I could write it all over that internal experience like that. “Yooo I hope when I die I hope that it’s forever.”

 

Texting that to you to fall asleep next to you for me not to, to still abstain, I think how you know.

 

iPhone in my own hand like the obligation to live life as its own placebo heaven like a heavy planet like the light of the phone on your face at night. I text you “content addiction.”

 

I’m trying to move past it I think how you know what I mean when I write that. Trying to go on outlasting myself after it already as if.

 

Surviving the gates every survival must say I’m sorry always the face of survival the face of apology… I’m sorry I’m vibing not surviving I’m survibing this feeling I get when I text you back

 

immediately, scrolling pictures of us I saved like I remember how I love you only in words.

 

I love when we text each other crying. Yeah keep that like that life of its own placebo light on my face mirrored from the phone as I write your numbers on my leg to count I start to music videos instead.

 

I started loving you forever just now

 

as I lost my place in the song the video is about. If I start it over again, the video about the song about you sleeping, reading in like sleeping through the way of reading.

 

I read too fast like holiday. It’s so beautiful to read

 

forget like hate scrolling votes or counting prayers for the end

 

another phone to take a picture of me on the phone with this phone. Watch my desktop save the files that save me from the nothing I’ve become. Love survives itself as misreading

 

a cat gnawing my USB I forgot as sharing and saving are just metaphysics.

 

 

  for Alan Darth Gilbert